i'm on vacay. vacaville, bitches. via motorcycle. i'm goin' to LA for game 5, and i'll be out-of-pocket for a few days. so, like, don't rob my house & shit. my neighbor collects military surplus and works from home.
currently listening:
6.10.2008
1.12.2008
when politicians cock us
i sat down to write a nice blog about my great disdain for politicians, and how astounding it was that the best candidates were seldom ever worth crossing the street to piss on. the introductory paragraph was a going to be an analogy to fleet week. and in case you don't know what goes on during fleet week, you can just take my word when i tell you it's an excellent analogy, when one considers the intensity of the politicians desire for your vote, what he will say to get it, and the extent to which he will adhere to the promises he made you, when fawning over the next voter in his way to the white house. sadly, this intro was wiped out when i failed to save upon shutting down the other night.
a few years ago i liked mccain because he seemed like someone who would tell it like it is. you see, mccain reminded me of my old childhood neighbors. the people to whom i refer were crotchety old roughnecks who scowled all the time, but would give you the shirt off their back...and also had no compunction about beating your ass in the street if you ever crossed them. these are the sort of people whose commitment to the truth was rivaled only by their propensity to speak it tactlessly. so yeah, when i saw mccain i saw a resemblance in personality. but then i realized that just because someone is bellicose doesn't necessarily mean that they are using their powers of assholery for the benefit of the public good. sometimes it just means they're fucking dickheads. and yeah, there is a part of me that appreciates mccain for having been tortured in vietnam. not because i sympathize with him, but because i am happy to know that there is at least one politician who's gotten what he deserved (even if it happened pre-emptively).
so to recap, i think the candidates suck...but we are partly responsible. 'they' are a product of our (i.e., the voting public's) refusal to kick them out of office when we catch them doing shit we don't like. and why? why don't we just sack up and kick them out? because we have no fucking idea how to do it. use your claws & fangs, people. vote green. vote independent. vote libertarian. anything is better than what we've got now.
currently listening:
primary - the cure
breach of contract
so with the passing of 2007 i have released myself of the self-induced obligation to title my blogs in the "2007: year of the..." format. there is a blog somewhere back in jan-2007 that describes the rationale of that idiotic stipulation, but i'm not bothering to link it because part of my new year's resolution is to alienate my readership (such as it is).
so now you know.
currently listening:
release me - wilson philips
so now you know.
currently listening:
release me - wilson philips
2007: year of the guitar heroics
makers of guitar hero, i curse ye. not only for destroying the manual dexterity and phelangial muscle memory i've developed by playing the actual guitar, but for destroying the last remaining vestige of spare time in my personal life. about 3 weeks ago, my brother called to say that guitar hero was addicting. because my academic record narrowly survived my senior year of college, when it was not unknown for me to play 36-hour sessions of Command & Conquer, i was fully aware that procurement of a gaming system would result in sleep deprivation of catastrophic proportions. the gift of foresight? it's one of the joys of adulthood: i have grown familiar with my foibles and character flaws (of which, video game addiction is one) and sought out a righteous path for myself, free of the iniquitous and time-theiving PlayStation; the Wii; the XBox.
after my christmassing in my hometown and sitting down to play guitar hero at my brother's house, i can safely say the following: that GH is addictive is pretty much the understatement of the year. i found myself guilty of all manner of treachery to escape the familial warmth of my parents' house to sit in my brother's dank, gamey (pun intended) living room and while away the hours in front of a scrolling fretboard rocking out to Winger and Pearl Jam ballads. "it's okay," i'd tell myself…"i'll just play over the holidays, and before i know it, i'll be back home where there is no PS2". or so i thought—santa claus was kind to my nephew. he was the recipient of an XBox 360, which rendered obsolete his PlayStation, which was cruelly bequiethed to his uncle. i stuffed my illicit stash in the suitcase and got on the airplane home.
my first stop on the way home from the albuquerque airport was Target, where i purchased Guitar Hero I & 80s Encore (They were out of GH II and III). as well, i picked up Call of Duty 3 which, i rightly figured, would come in handy when i felt it necessary to stalk and shoot people to sooth the rage of having failed to master Texas Flood by Stevie Ray Vaughan for the 9th straight time in a row. so yes, i'm pretty much intent on destroying that fucking eight year old you might have seen blazing through "Through the Fire and Flames" by DragonForce riffs on expert. what, no yngwie malmsteen's rising force?
currently listening:
Ace of Spades - Motorhead
Bark at the Moon - Ozzy Osbourne
Cochise - Audioslave
Cowboys From Hell - pantera
Crossroads - Cream
Fat Lip - Sum 41
Frankenstein - Edgar Winter Group
Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult
Heart Full of Black - burning brides
Hey You - The Exies
Higher Ground - Red Hot Chili Peppers
I Love Rock and Roll - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones
Infected - Bad Religion
Iron Man - Black Sabbath
Killer Queen - Queen
More Than A Feeling - Boston
No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top
Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple
Spanish Castle Magic - Jimi Hendrix
Stellar - Incubus
Symphony of Destruction - Megadeth
Take It Off - The Donnas
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Texas Flood - Stevie Ray Vaughan
Thunderkiss 65 - White Zombie
Unsung - Helmet
You Got Another Thing Comin' - Judas Pries
Ziggy Stardust - David Bowie
after my christmassing in my hometown and sitting down to play guitar hero at my brother's house, i can safely say the following: that GH is addictive is pretty much the understatement of the year. i found myself guilty of all manner of treachery to escape the familial warmth of my parents' house to sit in my brother's dank, gamey (pun intended) living room and while away the hours in front of a scrolling fretboard rocking out to Winger and Pearl Jam ballads. "it's okay," i'd tell myself…"i'll just play over the holidays, and before i know it, i'll be back home where there is no PS2". or so i thought—santa claus was kind to my nephew. he was the recipient of an XBox 360, which rendered obsolete his PlayStation, which was cruelly bequiethed to his uncle. i stuffed my illicit stash in the suitcase and got on the airplane home.
my first stop on the way home from the albuquerque airport was Target, where i purchased Guitar Hero I & 80s Encore (They were out of GH II and III). as well, i picked up Call of Duty 3 which, i rightly figured, would come in handy when i felt it necessary to stalk and shoot people to sooth the rage of having failed to master Texas Flood by Stevie Ray Vaughan for the 9th straight time in a row. so yes, i'm pretty much intent on destroying that fucking eight year old you might have seen blazing through "Through the Fire and Flames" by DragonForce riffs on expert. what, no yngwie malmsteen's rising force?
currently listening:
Ace of Spades - Motorhead
Bark at the Moon - Ozzy Osbourne
Cochise - Audioslave
Cowboys From Hell - pantera
Crossroads - Cream
Fat Lip - Sum 41
Frankenstein - Edgar Winter Group
Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult
Heart Full of Black - burning brides
Hey You - The Exies
Higher Ground - Red Hot Chili Peppers
I Love Rock and Roll - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones
Infected - Bad Religion
Iron Man - Black Sabbath
Killer Queen - Queen
More Than A Feeling - Boston
No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top
Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple
Spanish Castle Magic - Jimi Hendrix
Stellar - Incubus
Symphony of Destruction - Megadeth
Take It Off - The Donnas
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Texas Flood - Stevie Ray Vaughan
Thunderkiss 65 - White Zombie
Unsung - Helmet
You Got Another Thing Comin' - Judas Pries
Ziggy Stardust - David Bowie
2007: year of the apocalypse
i went to see "i am legend" tonight. it was largely forgettable, excepting the fact that i'll always remember the night i exposed myself to sub-freezing temperatures to see a largely forgettable movie by driving my jeep, sans doors, the 15 miles to the movie theater on account of my car was unable to navigate my treacherously icy driveway.
in the same vein as 28 days later, i am legend is worth the price of admission only because will smith is awesome and carries the film with his ability to deliver humorous quips in highly suspenseful situations. also noteworthy is the fact that he is fully yoked despite his graying hair. so, like i said, it's worth the price of admission, but cinema historians will view this film poorly for both its departure from the book on all meaningful aspects, and for adhering to the original in the only way it shouldn'ta--namely, by snuffing sam, smith's lovable canine companion.
on the way home, i considered the apocalyptic genre and suffered mild hypothermia. it occurred to me that "the apocalypse" is generally an hoary vision of writers who have arrived at the conclusion that, man, we fucked up...let's just annihilate everything and see what happens. get real. the only reason people enjoy post-apocalyptic cinema is off-chance they'll get to see some historical landmark or other get blowed-up.
and what happens, generally, when everything is annihilated is one of two things: the last 3 cool people on earth all meet up, give it the old college try, and ultimately get smitten by a horde of dickheads, or the last 3 cool people on earth all meet up, give it the old college try, the coolest one dies, and the other two escape to some fantastical commune inhabited by milquetoast people who were ekeing out some 18th century existence instead of trying to help out the cool people who narrowly avoided getting molested by zombies. in both cases, the flick ends as the camera pans skyward and the audience is left to ponder such weighty topics as which survivor: china! got the ax or what hateful thing simon told to some gawdawful singer.
i came home with the intention of writing something meaningful. i started by reading the wikipedia article for apocalyptic literature and lost my introspective mood because i couldn't stop laughing at this sentence: A work of apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic fiction might also be called a ruined Earth story, or dying Earth if the apocalypse is sufficiently dire.
currently listening:
8 miles high - the byrds
in the same vein as 28 days later, i am legend is worth the price of admission only because will smith is awesome and carries the film with his ability to deliver humorous quips in highly suspenseful situations. also noteworthy is the fact that he is fully yoked despite his graying hair. so, like i said, it's worth the price of admission, but cinema historians will view this film poorly for both its departure from the book on all meaningful aspects, and for adhering to the original in the only way it shouldn'ta--namely, by snuffing sam, smith's lovable canine companion.
on the way home, i considered the apocalyptic genre and suffered mild hypothermia. it occurred to me that "the apocalypse" is generally an hoary vision of writers who have arrived at the conclusion that, man, we fucked up...let's just annihilate everything and see what happens. get real. the only reason people enjoy post-apocalyptic cinema is off-chance they'll get to see some historical landmark or other get blowed-up.
and what happens, generally, when everything is annihilated is one of two things: the last 3 cool people on earth all meet up, give it the old college try, and ultimately get smitten by a horde of dickheads, or the last 3 cool people on earth all meet up, give it the old college try, the coolest one dies, and the other two escape to some fantastical commune inhabited by milquetoast people who were ekeing out some 18th century existence instead of trying to help out the cool people who narrowly avoided getting molested by zombies. in both cases, the flick ends as the camera pans skyward and the audience is left to ponder such weighty topics as which survivor: china! got the ax or what hateful thing simon told to some gawdawful singer.
i came home with the intention of writing something meaningful. i started by reading the wikipedia article for apocalyptic literature and lost my introspective mood because i couldn't stop laughing at this sentence: A work of apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic fiction might also be called a ruined Earth story, or dying Earth if the apocalypse is sufficiently dire.
currently listening:
8 miles high - the byrds
2007: year of the catch-and-shoot 22
i have to say, the few gyms there are in this town make it exceedingly hard on the middle-aged baller. basically, you have three alternatives: community centers, johnson gym, and private clubs like NMSW and the JCC.
each has its own unique pro/con list.
community centers:
pro - cheap. always a pick-up game to be found.
con - cheapness brings the more common element out of the woodwork. the kind of guys who love to showcase their perceived individual talent and, if need be, the weaponry they left in their donk. also, during peak hours, people tend to call ticky-tack fouls in an effort to hold the court. also also, the universally recognized bylaws of the ancient and accepted rite of basketballery (see below) generally don't apply in the community center.
johnson gym:
pro - collegiate atmosphere brings out the premiumhot-ass coeds ballers. despite the relatively low cost of membership, the aura of higher learning tends to repel hoodlum-types. tons of courts
con - collegiate atmosphere brings out the premium ballers...a double-edged sword. and one edge gets sharper the older & slower i get.
NMSW:
pro - membership dues keep the rifraf to a minimum. most private gym goers are professional types who enjoy a nice give-and-take on the court, but prefer not to escalate arguments to the "let's go out in the parking lot and i'll kick your fuckin' ass!" level. provide lockers, showers, and hot tub.
con - dickhead gym managers, in an effort to maximize profit, set up all kinds of bullshit leagues that occupy the courts during peak hours. that, or just demolish the whole fucking court altogether to make room for pontius pilates, as is the case at midtown.
JCC:
pro - cheaper than NMSW. facilities are top-notch.
con - limited "open gym" time during peak hours. i haven't visited the JCC, but from what i understand, you get fined $10 for swearing. oh fuck.
ByLaws of the Ancient and Accepted Rite:
1. no foul shall be called when possession of the ball is unclear.
2. the foul known as "over-the-back" ceases to become a foul, and is reclassified as "good rebounding".
3. a player on offense may not be considered to have committed a foul. ever.
4. "low-bridging" is generally frowned-upon, unless the guy's a real dick.
5. a foul call shall be respected, however, ridicule of the call is allowed.
6. when a foul or possession is in dispute, the disputing player may "shoot for" possession
each has its own unique pro/con list.
community centers:
pro - cheap. always a pick-up game to be found.
con - cheapness brings the more common element out of the woodwork. the kind of guys who love to showcase their perceived individual talent and, if need be, the weaponry they left in their donk. also, during peak hours, people tend to call ticky-tack fouls in an effort to hold the court. also also, the universally recognized bylaws of the ancient and accepted rite of basketballery (see below) generally don't apply in the community center.
johnson gym:
pro - collegiate atmosphere brings out the premium
con - collegiate atmosphere brings out the premium ballers...a double-edged sword. and one edge gets sharper the older & slower i get.
NMSW:
pro - membership dues keep the rifraf to a minimum. most private gym goers are professional types who enjoy a nice give-and-take on the court, but prefer not to escalate arguments to the "let's go out in the parking lot and i'll kick your fuckin' ass!" level. provide lockers, showers, and hot tub.
con - dickhead gym managers, in an effort to maximize profit, set up all kinds of bullshit leagues that occupy the courts during peak hours. that, or just demolish the whole fucking court altogether to make room for pontius pilates, as is the case at midtown.
JCC:
pro - cheaper than NMSW. facilities are top-notch.
con - limited "open gym" time during peak hours. i haven't visited the JCC, but from what i understand, you get fined $10 for swearing. oh fuck.
ByLaws of the Ancient and Accepted Rite:
1. no foul shall be called when possession of the ball is unclear.
2. the foul known as "over-the-back" ceases to become a foul, and is reclassified as "good rebounding".
3. a player on offense may not be considered to have committed a foul. ever.
4. "low-bridging" is generally frowned-upon, unless the guy's a real dick.
5. a foul call shall be respected, however, ridicule of the call is allowed.
6. when a foul or possession is in dispute, the disputing player may "shoot for" possession
2007: year of the jobacon, er, jacobin.
huh. the police officers who agreed to work for the salary specified in the job description to which they responded in the affirmative, are not happy with their salaries. the reason for the dissatisfaction, apparently, is that being a cop is like, dangerous & stuff. quite so...i think that's why they're issued glocks, tasers, billy clubs, and shotguns. quoth the Po-Po:
mind you, it's not like i don't appreciate the valuable service they perform...because i do. i think it was awesome when they recovered the stereo stolen out of my car and prosecuted the perpetrators. also, i really appreciated their prompt response to my car accident, not to mention the fact that they properly assigned blame so i didn't have to spend endless hours on the phone with the other driver's shady insurance company who might otherwise have tried to fuck me out of my claim.
and what i haven't even mentioned yet, is the union's assessment of police pay doesn't account for the under-the-table perks that police git:
currently listening:
war pigs - black sabbath
...the union declared the city unsafe and said its officers were among the lowest paid in the state.well whaddyareckon? you think by giving them a raise the City's up'n gonna magically become safe? last time i checked, that's precisely what we pay them for in the first place. if albuquerque is unsafe, well then, i guess it's because albuquerque's most finest hasn't been doing they job. ergo, johnny law wants a raise for having failed at his primary assignment. i suppose if they're THAT disgruntled, they should go on strike. seriously. i'm curious to see if their absence is any less a deterent to crime that their presence obviously is.
mind you, it's not like i don't appreciate the valuable service they perform...because i do. i think it was awesome when they recovered the stereo stolen out of my car and prosecuted the perpetrators. also, i really appreciated their prompt response to my car accident, not to mention the fact that they properly assigned blame so i didn't have to spend endless hours on the phone with the other driver's shady insurance company who might otherwise have tried to fuck me out of my claim.
and what i haven't even mentioned yet, is the union's assessment of police pay doesn't account for the under-the-table perks that police git:
? unlimited use of a city vehicle
? free/discounted vittles from one end of town to the other
? tendency to speed & run red lights when they feel like it
? ability to beat on people when they feel like it
? accompaniment by the constant, winsome aroma of bacon
? ability to wear a porn-stache without being openly ridiculed
currently listening:
war pigs - black sabbath
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